Part One 

There Are No Good Men, You Say. Taken. Absent. Unavailable. 

So Friday nights are filled with friends and urban delights, with sweatpants and a Netflix binge… of wine and laughs and games and shared walks under sparse street lamps and faraway, tiny stars. But not dates. There’s dice and there’s music and there’s tv and there’s joy in the simple. But there’s No Good Men, You Say. Taken. Absent. Unavailable. 

One year of dateless Fridays (and Saturdays and Sundays- Thursdays too) turns into two which turns into, oh, my, I can’t remember. Three? Four? A few? 

What’s wrong with me? You ask. What’s wrong with you? They ask. I am too picky. You think. You are too picky. They think. You aren’t good enough. Pretty enough. Emotionally stable/available/approachable enough. You’re not… enough. You think. 

You think. And think. And think enough, and soon, there’s nothing: No thoughts where thoughts should be, no action where action should be, no decisions where decisions should be. And No Good Men, You Say. Taken. Absent. Unavailable.

But are there really No Good Men? All Taken? All Absent? All Unavailable? 


Are you lurking behind a wall of protection? A fortress, a safety net from rejection? Behind your friends and wine and laughs… in the quiet hours all alone… Who hears you? Who values you? Who loves you? 

Wait there, hidden. Unscathed, untested, safe. 

Wait there, quiet and afraid. Queueing up the Next Big Show in your room, in your sweatpants, all alone. Say that there Are No Good Men, and surely it will be true.  

This is Part One of a series I’m writing on relationships, anxiety, and everything in between. Lofty, right? There’s a line in the movie The Wedding Date (I love a good chick flick) where Dermot Mulroney’s character says to Debra Messing: “Every woman has the exact love life they want.” This statement has haunted and bewildered me and I have always hated it(which is hard to hate anything said from Dermot Mulroney’s mouth) because I didn’t think it was fair, or true (chick flicks can be dumb, let’s be honest) and it scared me. But recently… well. Maybe I’ve started to kinda think it is true.  This is my exploration. 

morgan cogswell